09/12/27
6:37 PM
09/12/27
you know what sucks?
it sucks when you know someone's doing something wrong, something unconscionable, but you cannot do anything to stop it. you're like a powerless twig in the forest waiting to get trampled on time after time. you can only watch them, you can't say anything in fear of getting beaten, or worse. and then you know that you're not the only one that's suffering.
it sucks when you know that you have friends-enemies which you can't forgive but you have to. because in the future, you'll need to rely on them. you'll need them to support you. and it's worse when even though you look so closely, you can only see snakes around you, because those you trust are elsewhere, enjoying, having fun with others while you are stuck to suffer. you cannot makes friends yet you cannot afford to make enemies.
it sucks when you try to work harder, but you fail. you try and fail over and over again, and comments are getting to you. why are you so stupid, why can't you do better. you know you're trying, but others don't see the effort. over time, you grow unhappy and depressed, but they are pushing you. you know it's time to put on some make-up.
it sucks when you know there's another you inside your mind, you cannot hold yourself anymore because you created that monster. you are responsible if it does anything. because it is eating you up slowly, day by day. you are no longer yourself anymore, you are another person in whole.
it sucks when you live in your mind, you cannot connect to others outside, you watch them instead. you wish you could have fun with them, but you can't feel anything except pain anymore.
it sucks when you're hollow, you lost your humanity and became a robot.